A Jew's task in this world is to do the will of Hashem. This raises the practical question whether smoking is consistent with Hashem's will. I believe it can be demonstrated without a doubt that smoking is against Hashem's will. This is true whether or not smoking is technically forbidden. It also remains true even if a specific argument against smoking is flawed. The collective weight of all the arguments together provide certainty that Hashem does not want Jews to smoke.
1. Smoking may be forbidden by the Torah
A number of poskim consider smoking forbidden, in fact an isur deoraisa. Not all poskim agree, but there is good reason to avoid a behavior that could well be an isur deoraisa, violated thousands of times by a habitual smoker.
2. Smoking damages health
Even if we suppose that damaging one's health is technically permitted, it is obvious that health is better than its opposite. Therefore smoking is a bad thing.
3. Smoking may be a violation of Yom Tov
Smokers believe they may smoke on Yom Tov since they light from a pre-existing flame. However this permission only applies for commonly accepted pleasures. Smoking is no longer common in society as previously. For this reason smoking on Yom Tov has become questionable at best.
4. Smoking is a waste of money
A smoking habit can cost thousands of dollars a year, and many times more than that over a lifetime. Think how many yeshivos and shuls could be supported with that money. Consider how many poor families and poor brides could be provided for with all the dollars Jewish smokers have "donated" to cigarette companies.
5. Smoking is a taaveh
All the sifrei musar teach us to control our taavos in order to achieve kedusha. Smoking is a habit forming taaveh which reinforces our physical inclinations It is therefore spiritually detrimental for a Jew to smoke.
6. Smoking is detrimental to relationships bein adam lechaveiro
Smoking is harmful to other people through second hand smoke. In addition most people find cigarette smoke unpleasant. We are supposed to practice chesed towards other people, and smoking can be antithetical to chesed.
7. Smoking destroys opportunities for mitzvos
Many smokers die early from smoking. Think about the lost opportunity to learn Torah and do thousands of mitzvos because of dying years before one's time. Think of the grief of family and and the years taken away from being a loving grandfather, father and husband.
8. Smoking dishonors Hashem's name
For good reasons smoking is looked down upon in today's society. When a Jew smokes it sends a message that he lacks self-control and does not care about his welfare.
Some smokers justify their habit because tzadikim in the past smoked. But we have medical knowledge that was unavailable to previous generations, and it is pretentious to assume tzadikim smoked with the same kavanos as today's smokers. This rationalization of the yetzer harah does nothing to reverse the damage caused by smoking. Anyone who is honest will admit smoking is against Hashem's will.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
Secular Israeli Government is Wrong But the Problem is Us
I do not support the measure to draft haredi yeshiva students into the Israeli army. That does not mean haredim are free of blame. In fact I think the haredi community had it coming.
Our Sages speak of a partnership between the tribes of Yisachar and Zevulun. Zevulun economically supported the Torah learning of Yisachar. A
Yisachar-Zevulun relationship works best when learners shows love and
respect for those who support them.
For decades haredi yeshiva students were generously given money and relieved of army service. Even if it came about through political bargaining, it happened, and
warrants gratitude. The Israeli public, for all its flaws, has been like a father-in-law to every kollel student, and is hungry for recognition. I can understand them.
Haredim frequently quote the Rambam about how not only the tribe of Levi but those who dedicate themselves to completely serving G-d have a privileged status. Could one reason Israeli society does not wish to accord us the status of Levi is because our conduct is not worthy of Levi? Is it possible they devalue our contributions in part because they sense their own contributions are not fully appreciated? Is it pure coincidence that Yair Lapid's popularity followed shortly after well-known reports of uncivil behavior by some haredim?
Our Sages speak of a partnership between the tribes of Yisachar and Zevulun. Zevulun economically supported the Torah learning of Yisachar. A
Yisachar-Zevulun relationship works best when learners shows love and
respect for those who support them.
For decades haredi yeshiva students were generously given money and relieved of army service. Even if it came about through political bargaining, it happened, and
warrants gratitude. The Israeli public, for all its flaws, has been like a father-in-law to every kollel student, and is hungry for recognition. I can understand them.
Haredim frequently quote the Rambam about how not only the tribe of Levi but those who dedicate themselves to completely serving G-d have a privileged status. Could one reason Israeli society does not wish to accord us the status of Levi is because our conduct is not worthy of Levi? Is it possible they devalue our contributions in part because they sense their own contributions are not fully appreciated? Is it pure coincidence that Yair Lapid's popularity followed shortly after well-known reports of uncivil behavior by some haredim?
Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz writes, "While the bulk of the ire and anger from the charedi community over the “Sharing the Burden” initiatives are directed at Yair Lapid and Naftali Bennett, many of us who work with the teens-at-risk population feel strongly that some of this resentment should be redirected toward the radical kanoim (zealots) who have been contributing to the charedi-secular divide in Eretz Yisroel for decades now. Why? Because over the years, they have employed tactics of intimidation and violence to antagonize our non-observant brothers and sisters, and to disrupt the efforts of our gedolim (sages) in Eretz Yisroel to make the type of changes that are now being forced upon the charedi community."
Cheshbon hanefesh is the Jewish way. Finger pointing is tempting but distracts us from the work that needs to be done. Our enemies had no right to destroy the Beis Hamikdash but our Sages wisely put the focus on our own shortcomings which led to the tragedy. We can oppose the agenda of Lapid and Bennett and still ask what we did wrong to bring this about. Hashem did not put these politicians in power for nothing.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Zionism as a Response to the Holocaust
Human beings like to feel they can control the world. The passion of political activists is fueled by their belief that they know how to improve things. In reality the activists' results are sometimes minimal, neutral or even detrimental. Part of the appeal of such belief is that the alternative is unpleasant: to admit our limitations.
The belief that the State of Israel is a solution to the Holocaust has great emotional appeal, to put it mildly. All Jews hope "never again" and most of us believe Israel will prevent it or reduce the possibility. Good Jews have debated the issue of Zionism. There are good reasons to support (and oppose) Zionism. Israel is currently a vehicle for establishing six million Jews in their homeland. That alone is a reason to support Israel. Preventing a future holocaust is not a good reason.
The basic error of "Israel prevents holocausts" ideology is in overlooking the possibility that a holocaust could happen in Israel itself (G-d forbid). This is not mere theoretical speculation. In fact this almost did happen. Israel nearly lost the wars of 1948, 1967 and 1973. If that had happened would these same ideologues have continued their ideology?
Even if we take these military victories for granted, it is not clear the state is a means for Jewish safety. Simply put, more Jews have been killed in Israel since the Holocaust than anywhere else. On what basis is the state a "solution" to the Holocaust?
Suppose we were to survey secular Israelis (this excludes belief in Divine protection as a variable) whether they think the state will still exist for another century or two. I have no doubt
many respondents would be at best unsure of the matter. We are talking about Jews who live in Israel and believe in it. Who can really say that Iran will not send a WMD into Israel within the next century, (G-d forbid)?
It may be true that Israel's existence reduces certain risk factors. But it also increases other risk factors. The state concentrates many Jews in one place. It also inflames anti-semitism in the Arab and Muslim world. This makes genocide in Israel a possibility (G-d forbid). We do not know all the risk factors and cannot be certain which factors will predominate.
G-d controls the world yet demands human effort. One must not jump off a roof merely because G-d decides on Rosh Hashana whether one will live. Neither should one sit idly because one's income is decided on Rosh Hashana. Many similarly argue Israel represents a necessary human effort (hishtadlus) for Jewish protection. We can't do nothing, they say. G-d helps those who help themselves!
This sounds compelling but there is a counterpoint. In the first two examples it is clear what human responsibility dictates. Is this the case with the state of Israel? Religious Zionists, with good basis, assert that the creation and perpetuation of the state is miraculous. One Rabbi has argued that they are in effect relying on a miracle. Does this represent hishtadlus, or its opposite? How do we know whether it is more prudent to trust in miracles in Israel or outside of it?
It can be scary to admit we do not know how G-d runs the world. That we think we know how to prevent or mitigate the next holocaust does not make it so. The variables are beyond our reckoning. Our job is not to control the future but to do what G-d wants of us. Many Jews have good reasons to believe their calling is to live in Israel. They are doing a mitzva. A mitzva is a service to the One who commands it. It is not a tool to dictate human destiny.
The belief that the State of Israel is a solution to the Holocaust has great emotional appeal, to put it mildly. All Jews hope "never again" and most of us believe Israel will prevent it or reduce the possibility. Good Jews have debated the issue of Zionism. There are good reasons to support (and oppose) Zionism. Israel is currently a vehicle for establishing six million Jews in their homeland. That alone is a reason to support Israel. Preventing a future holocaust is not a good reason.
The basic error of "Israel prevents holocausts" ideology is in overlooking the possibility that a holocaust could happen in Israel itself (G-d forbid). This is not mere theoretical speculation. In fact this almost did happen. Israel nearly lost the wars of 1948, 1967 and 1973. If that had happened would these same ideologues have continued their ideology?
Even if we take these military victories for granted, it is not clear the state is a means for Jewish safety. Simply put, more Jews have been killed in Israel since the Holocaust than anywhere else. On what basis is the state a "solution" to the Holocaust?
Suppose we were to survey secular Israelis (this excludes belief in Divine protection as a variable) whether they think the state will still exist for another century or two. I have no doubt
many respondents would be at best unsure of the matter. We are talking about Jews who live in Israel and believe in it. Who can really say that Iran will not send a WMD into Israel within the next century, (G-d forbid)?
It may be true that Israel's existence reduces certain risk factors. But it also increases other risk factors. The state concentrates many Jews in one place. It also inflames anti-semitism in the Arab and Muslim world. This makes genocide in Israel a possibility (G-d forbid). We do not know all the risk factors and cannot be certain which factors will predominate.
G-d controls the world yet demands human effort. One must not jump off a roof merely because G-d decides on Rosh Hashana whether one will live. Neither should one sit idly because one's income is decided on Rosh Hashana. Many similarly argue Israel represents a necessary human effort (hishtadlus) for Jewish protection. We can't do nothing, they say. G-d helps those who help themselves!
This sounds compelling but there is a counterpoint. In the first two examples it is clear what human responsibility dictates. Is this the case with the state of Israel? Religious Zionists, with good basis, assert that the creation and perpetuation of the state is miraculous. One Rabbi has argued that they are in effect relying on a miracle. Does this represent hishtadlus, or its opposite? How do we know whether it is more prudent to trust in miracles in Israel or outside of it?
It can be scary to admit we do not know how G-d runs the world. That we think we know how to prevent or mitigate the next holocaust does not make it so. The variables are beyond our reckoning. Our job is not to control the future but to do what G-d wants of us. Many Jews have good reasons to believe their calling is to live in Israel. They are doing a mitzva. A mitzva is a service to the One who commands it. It is not a tool to dictate human destiny.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
A Different Reason to Support the Nasi Project
People speak of a shiduch crisis. Too many singles, especially single women, are having difficulty getting married. The Nasi project claims to have a solution: men should marry older women. This is a good idea even if it does not solve the shiduch crisis.
Some believe the Nasi project will help more women get married. These women, we are told, are bypassed because younger men shun them. Others argue the Nasi project is no solution at all. If men marry older women these men will be unavailable to younger women. Either way some women lose out. I am not a demographer and offer no opinion either way.
The Nasi project deserves support for a different reason: older women can be wonderful shiduchim. My own Rosh Yeshiva told me there was no reason not to date an older woman. Who knows how many such shiduchim did not happen because men pursued some younger women who may have been less appropriate. Rabbi Paysach Krohn tells of how Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch married an ideal life partner who was a few years older than himself.
There is an inappropriate degree of conformity in some sectors of the frum world. Men may insist on marrying younger women because that is what they think their community expects of them. Perhaps they themselves have imbibed the belief it's wrong to marry an older woman, without independently thinking through the matter. The Nasi project challenges this belief. That alone makes it worthy of our support.
Some believe the Nasi project will help more women get married. These women, we are told, are bypassed because younger men shun them. Others argue the Nasi project is no solution at all. If men marry older women these men will be unavailable to younger women. Either way some women lose out. I am not a demographer and offer no opinion either way.
The Nasi project deserves support for a different reason: older women can be wonderful shiduchim. My own Rosh Yeshiva told me there was no reason not to date an older woman. Who knows how many such shiduchim did not happen because men pursued some younger women who may have been less appropriate. Rabbi Paysach Krohn tells of how Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch married an ideal life partner who was a few years older than himself.
There is an inappropriate degree of conformity in some sectors of the frum world. Men may insist on marrying younger women because that is what they think their community expects of them. Perhaps they themselves have imbibed the belief it's wrong to marry an older woman, without independently thinking through the matter. The Nasi project challenges this belief. That alone makes it worthy of our support.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Three Cheers for Lipa Schmeltzer
I am a fan of Lipa Schmeltzer. This may surprise those who know me as a fan of old and very old Jewish music. But Lipa is not only a musician. He is also a Jew who found his place in Judaism despite circumstances that cause some to leave the faith.
The Jewish Forward reports that Lipa encountered rejection because he did not fit in with the expectations of the Skver community. "But my talents prevailed and I continued on my way. I grew stronger within as a result of this, and I also healed a lot from my music. And all the pain, shame, and humiliation that I endured only served to strengthen me.
I had a very difficult childhood. I could not concentrate in heder [Hasidic boys’ school], I was spanked, and I was given nicknames — things I was never willing to discuss, until recently. But I am more willing now to go back to this pain, to look in the mirror and see what I have endured, and how I have to thank Hashem that I arrived to where I am now."
I come to praise Lipa, not to bury Skver. We do not know the whole story of what happened. But we do know he was pained. Some never get past that pain. Lipa has not only remained within the faith but has found an outlet for his individuality in a specifically Jewish context. I believe Lipa is truly trying to connect to Hashem through his music. Listeners find not only pleasure but religious inspiration.
Some feel Lipa's recordings are not the ideal form of Jewish music. I understand where they are coming from. But Lipa spreads joy to others. In a Jewish world that is big, diverse, and imperfect, Lipa's music has an important place. His story warms my Jewish heart.
Read more: http://blogs.forward.com/the-arty-semite/180373/an-exclusive-interview-with-lipa-schmeltzer/#ixzz2Z8KBQnNO
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Chief Rabbi Sacks and Jewish Unity
The Times of Israel described it as "star studded farewell dinner" with eight hundred guests. Charles the Prince of Wales was present. Chief Rabbi Sacks has retired and this event functioned as his outgoing speech. What was one of the topics? Rabbi Sacks spoke about the evils of the haredi approach. Not exactly a pitch for Jewish unity when the world is watching.
According to Times of Israel, "Speaking at his own retirement dinner Monday night, Sacks drew an equivalence between assimilated Jews “who embrace the world and reject Judaism, and those who embrace Judaism and reject the world.”That the center is shrinking is “worse than dangerous,” said Sacks. “It is an abdication of the role of Jews and Judaism in the world. We are here to engage with the world, to be true to our faith and a blessing to others regardless of their faith.”
England has a sustantial haredi population. I hope the eight hundred guests don't view haredim as "worse than dangerous."
The truth is that every approach within Torah has its dangers. Each path has pros and cons.
This applies to haredi Orthodoxy and to Modern Orthodoxy, where an open attitude to secular culture comes at a price. Modern Orthodoxy has its strengths, but is missing some of the strengths of haredim.
Rabbi Sacks could have gotten his message across by simply proclaiming the virtues of engaging with the world. Dumping on his fellow Jews before Prince Charles is unbecoming.
Chief Rabbi Sacks is seen as a leader and spokesman for the gamut of British Jewry. In some ways he represents even those haredim who do not look to him for guidance. That makes his divisive speech even worse.
I cannot imagine giving a talk about the evils of Modern Orthodoxy before a non-Jewish and ultimately global audience. Context matters.
After Rabbi Sacks' speech, Harry Maryles wrote, "And the wedge gets deeper. I cannot tell you how aggravated I am by this further erosion of Achdus. It is as though we are turning into separate nations." Bizarrely, Maryles was not referring to Sacks' speech but to the published objections of Agudath Israel! That the speech itself was divisive escaped this prominent blogger.
Each group in Orthodoxy has problems with which it needs to grapple. We all need to be part of the solution. Rabbi Sacks made clear to Prince Charles and the "star studded guests" haredi Judaism is the shul he does not attend. That kind of talk is not the solution. It is part of the problem.
According to Times of Israel, "Speaking at his own retirement dinner Monday night, Sacks drew an equivalence between assimilated Jews “who embrace the world and reject Judaism, and those who embrace Judaism and reject the world.”That the center is shrinking is “worse than dangerous,” said Sacks. “It is an abdication of the role of Jews and Judaism in the world. We are here to engage with the world, to be true to our faith and a blessing to others regardless of their faith.”
England has a sustantial haredi population. I hope the eight hundred guests don't view haredim as "worse than dangerous."
The truth is that every approach within Torah has its dangers. Each path has pros and cons.
This applies to haredi Orthodoxy and to Modern Orthodoxy, where an open attitude to secular culture comes at a price. Modern Orthodoxy has its strengths, but is missing some of the strengths of haredim.
Rabbi Sacks could have gotten his message across by simply proclaiming the virtues of engaging with the world. Dumping on his fellow Jews before Prince Charles is unbecoming.
Chief Rabbi Sacks is seen as a leader and spokesman for the gamut of British Jewry. In some ways he represents even those haredim who do not look to him for guidance. That makes his divisive speech even worse.
I cannot imagine giving a talk about the evils of Modern Orthodoxy before a non-Jewish and ultimately global audience. Context matters.
After Rabbi Sacks' speech, Harry Maryles wrote, "And the wedge gets deeper. I cannot tell you how aggravated I am by this further erosion of Achdus. It is as though we are turning into separate nations." Bizarrely, Maryles was not referring to Sacks' speech but to the published objections of Agudath Israel! That the speech itself was divisive escaped this prominent blogger.
Each group in Orthodoxy has problems with which it needs to grapple. We all need to be part of the solution. Rabbi Sacks made clear to Prince Charles and the "star studded guests" haredi Judaism is the shul he does not attend. That kind of talk is not the solution. It is part of the problem.
Friday, July 12, 2013
The Kolko Affair in Lakewood
There is a well publicized case of a teacher and camp counselor, Yosef Kolko, convicted in court for molesting a child. The father of the victim, a shul Rabbi, was driven out of Lakewood because he went to the police. The father had a heter from Rabbi Moshe Sternbuch to go the police, but Lakewood rabbis condemned the father for mesira. The case has prompted much discussion among Orthodox Jews about how to handle molestation issues in our midst.
The details of the story keep changing, but they never get better. There is abundant evidence that Kolko is guilty and that the victim's father was justified to go to the police. What happened to the victim's family is tragic. Some are not able to believe that such injustice can happen in Lakewood, a place seen as the Torah capitol of America. But no one is immune to the wiles of the yezter harah.
The Lakewood community attempted to deal with this case strictly through a beis din. Experience in many cases has taught us this approach is a mistake. Molesters need to be reported to the police not because we are convicting them (that is for courts to determine) but to remove threats to our communities. The welfare of children is at stake. Most rabbis have not shown the expertise to understand who is a threat and how to deal with actual molesters.
Many rabbis do not know the halacha when it comes to molestation. If more rabbis would study Rabbi Daniel Eidensohn's sefer on this topic, it would be a better Jewish world. As always the halacha is not the problem. The problem is ourselves.
The details of the story keep changing, but they never get better. There is abundant evidence that Kolko is guilty and that the victim's father was justified to go to the police. What happened to the victim's family is tragic. Some are not able to believe that such injustice can happen in Lakewood, a place seen as the Torah capitol of America. But no one is immune to the wiles of the yezter harah.
The Lakewood community attempted to deal with this case strictly through a beis din. Experience in many cases has taught us this approach is a mistake. Molesters need to be reported to the police not because we are convicting them (that is for courts to determine) but to remove threats to our communities. The welfare of children is at stake. Most rabbis have not shown the expertise to understand who is a threat and how to deal with actual molesters.
Many rabbis do not know the halacha when it comes to molestation. If more rabbis would study Rabbi Daniel Eidensohn's sefer on this topic, it would be a better Jewish world. As always the halacha is not the problem. The problem is ourselves.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Should Halachic Pluralism Include YCT?
Halachic pluralism is worthy of our support. Inevitably, Jews committed to halachic Judaism will disagree in matters of halacha and hashkafa. Different groups have the support of different gedolim. Each group operating within basic parameters deserves recognition as practitioners of traditional Judaism. Does Yeshiva Chovevei Torah qualify for this recognition?
YCT is run by rabbis with a YU background but are to the left of YU. They support women rabbis (or its equivalent) and take other positions which push the envelope. They are highly controversial in the Orthodox world among haredim and modern orthodox alike. YCT wants to forge a new derech they call Open Orthodoxy. Some see YCT as a new Conservative movement.
I recall reading a book of Rav Aharon Lichtenstein's essays where he stated that for a derech to have legitimacy it needs the backing of at least one Gadol b'Torah. In particular he argued that the basics of what is called modern orthodoxy or Torah Umada have credentials because of the qualifications of Rav Soloveitchik. Surely Rav Lichtenstein believes the same legitimacy applies to other drachim supported by other gedolim.
By this measure YCT fails the litmus test. There are no gedolim advocating Open Orthodoxy as articulated by YCT. No claim that Rav Soloveitchik would have supported YCT can be taken seriously. There are plenty of disputes about his views once we place him to the right of YCT. But Rav Soloveitchik surely never advocated anything like Open Orthodoxy.
None of YCT's rebbeim are known as gedolim. No gedolim serve on their advisory board. (http://www.yctorah.org/content/view/21/49/) The late Rav Amital, a distinguished talmid chacham, lived in Israel, was not an English speaker, and probably never knew what was really happening on the other side of the Atlantic.
No derech in Torah has ever had long-term success without the backing and guidance of gedolim. YCT is trying to overcome an iron law of history.
YCT is run by rabbis with a YU background but are to the left of YU. They support women rabbis (or its equivalent) and take other positions which push the envelope. They are highly controversial in the Orthodox world among haredim and modern orthodox alike. YCT wants to forge a new derech they call Open Orthodoxy. Some see YCT as a new Conservative movement.
I recall reading a book of Rav Aharon Lichtenstein's essays where he stated that for a derech to have legitimacy it needs the backing of at least one Gadol b'Torah. In particular he argued that the basics of what is called modern orthodoxy or Torah Umada have credentials because of the qualifications of Rav Soloveitchik. Surely Rav Lichtenstein believes the same legitimacy applies to other drachim supported by other gedolim.
By this measure YCT fails the litmus test. There are no gedolim advocating Open Orthodoxy as articulated by YCT. No claim that Rav Soloveitchik would have supported YCT can be taken seriously. There are plenty of disputes about his views once we place him to the right of YCT. But Rav Soloveitchik surely never advocated anything like Open Orthodoxy.
None of YCT's rebbeim are known as gedolim. No gedolim serve on their advisory board. (http://www.yctorah.org/content/view/21/49/) The late Rav Amital, a distinguished talmid chacham, lived in Israel, was not an English speaker, and probably never knew what was really happening on the other side of the Atlantic.
No derech in Torah has ever had long-term success without the backing and guidance of gedolim. YCT is trying to overcome an iron law of history.
Preventing Off The Derech- Special Education
In a culture that values learning so highly, students with learning disabilities are especially vulnerable. Learning disabilities are certainly a factor in youth leaving Jewish observance. The haredi community has made progress in this area but still lags behind American society. Among Israeli haredim the problem is worse.
I sympathize with school boards that can barely cover present expenses. Asking them to provide special education is a tall order. But neglecting special education has economic costs in the long run, aside from great spiritual costs.
I have seen first hand the great benefits of special education. For many students it is the crucial difference between success and failure. How much is that worth?
The frum community rightly fears outside influences that pull Jews away from Judaism. They go to great lengths to avoid, or at least protect from, these influences. We should be equally afraid of internal factors that push Jews away from Torah. Neglect of special education is one of them.
I sympathize with school boards that can barely cover present expenses. Asking them to provide special education is a tall order. But neglecting special education has economic costs in the long run, aside from great spiritual costs.
I have seen first hand the great benefits of special education. For many students it is the crucial difference between success and failure. How much is that worth?
The frum community rightly fears outside influences that pull Jews away from Judaism. They go to great lengths to avoid, or at least protect from, these influences. We should be equally afraid of internal factors that push Jews away from Torah. Neglect of special education is one of them.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Preventing Off The Derech- Strengthen Marriage
The reality of Orthodox Jews leaving religious observance has been blamed on bad parenting, bad schools, bad marriages, learning disabilities, social conformity, discouraging religious questions, religious hypocrisy, the Internet and molestation. Life is complex. The most reasonable explanation is that all of these factors play a part. What can be done?
A problem with multiple causes requires multiple solutions. Let's start by focusing on one factor: bad marriages. It is obvious that a home without shalom bayis is harmful to children and can lead to rebellion. Can we prevent bad marriages?
Like most Orthodox Jews, I learned about marriage on the job. I think this is a disastrous policy. Chasanim and kallos are taught about taharas hamishpacha but little about being married. How should a husband relate to a wife, and vice versa? Many couples seek counseling or rabbinic advice for issues that should have been addressed before the wedding.
Belzer chasidim have a system where each new couple is assigned to a mentor. I have little doubt this has saved countless families from discord or worse. If all Jews had such a mentor before and after the wedding, we would have much healthier families.
We should commend Klal Perspectives for devoting an issue to producing better Jewish marriages.
http://klalperspectives.org/summer-2012-issue/summer-2012-questions/
If I were a mesader kidushin, my policy would be: get premarital instruction if you want me to officiate at your wedding.
A problem with multiple causes requires multiple solutions. Let's start by focusing on one factor: bad marriages. It is obvious that a home without shalom bayis is harmful to children and can lead to rebellion. Can we prevent bad marriages?
Like most Orthodox Jews, I learned about marriage on the job. I think this is a disastrous policy. Chasanim and kallos are taught about taharas hamishpacha but little about being married. How should a husband relate to a wife, and vice versa? Many couples seek counseling or rabbinic advice for issues that should have been addressed before the wedding.
Belzer chasidim have a system where each new couple is assigned to a mentor. I have little doubt this has saved countless families from discord or worse. If all Jews had such a mentor before and after the wedding, we would have much healthier families.
We should commend Klal Perspectives for devoting an issue to producing better Jewish marriages.
http://klalperspectives.org/summer-2012-issue/summer-2012-questions/
If I were a mesader kidushin, my policy would be: get premarital instruction if you want me to officiate at your wedding.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Orthodox Jews Should Not Support Drafting Haredim
Halachic pluralism should be a way of life. I recall reading Rabbi Aharon Lichtensteins's article The Ideology of Hesder. It was a well-written defense of his own pro-hesder position. He wrote with passionate conviction but evident humility. He did not besmirch or delegitimize those who disagree.
What is the role of a yeshiva student? Does that role call for a place in the Israeli army? Great Rabbis have debated this question. It should be unthinkable that one side should coerce the other side.
Foolishly, some modern orthodox Jews propose to do exactly that. The Lapid proposals will coerce haredim with penalties. Some orthodox Jews think that's fine.
It is not. These Jews do not believe in halachic pluralism. We should allow rabbinic leaders on both sides to pasken for their own communities.
Some argue that in a democracy the government should decide these matters. Therefore we should support the draft and not defer to halachic pluralism. This is nonsense. In a democracy no one is obligated to support the government's position. Hesder yeshivas should not be coerced to emulate the Mir. The Mir should not be coerced to fully or partially emulate the hesder system.
What is the role of a yeshiva student? Does that role call for a place in the Israeli army? Great Rabbis have debated this question. It should be unthinkable that one side should coerce the other side.
Foolishly, some modern orthodox Jews propose to do exactly that. The Lapid proposals will coerce haredim with penalties. Some orthodox Jews think that's fine.
It is not. These Jews do not believe in halachic pluralism. We should allow rabbinic leaders on both sides to pasken for their own communities.
Some argue that in a democracy the government should decide these matters. Therefore we should support the draft and not defer to halachic pluralism. This is nonsense. In a democracy no one is obligated to support the government's position. Hesder yeshivas should not be coerced to emulate the Mir. The Mir should not be coerced to fully or partially emulate the hesder system.
What is Honestly Frum?
I will try to answer this question honestly. In sports there is a difference between a referee and a fan. A fan roots for his team. A referee tries to judge fairly. In halachic Judaism there are haredim and modern orthodox, each with many subgroups. With Jewish issues, I will try to be a referee rather than a fan. I will call them like I see them.
I studied in yeshiva for years, and teach in a Jewish day school. I am married with children. I mostly identify with the haredi world, but my contact with modern orthodoxy is extensive. Anyone who expects to hear a haredi party line will be disappointed with me. The haredi world is not always right and modern orthodoxy is not always wrong. Readers, let's get together and try to call them like we see them.
I studied in yeshiva for years, and teach in a Jewish day school. I am married with children. I mostly identify with the haredi world, but my contact with modern orthodoxy is extensive. Anyone who expects to hear a haredi party line will be disappointed with me. The haredi world is not always right and modern orthodoxy is not always wrong. Readers, let's get together and try to call them like we see them.
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